Shame and PTSD

(This is a November creation, but a Christmas Day Posting)  Right at this moment I am shaking with shame, hot in the face, as if I have been slapped.  I am even afraid I will accidentally post this blog without editing and thinking it out, because I am afaid I won't remember what I have already learned about the computer.  I would almost close off for another year and a half unreachable by myself as well as anyone else, if not realizing I can type a draft here.  I am afraid if I save this and close it out I won't be able to find a way back.  Already, I couldn't find Google Accounts the usual way, but I found it somehow, and clicked on eblogger, and I grabbed it.   I do need to rest.  And cry.  And find my way back. So do I just minimize this and open it later?  I can't think of anything else.  Oh, click save.